


Half a Teal Deer

by SLWalker



Series: Midnight Blue [2]
Category: Midnight Blue - Fandom, due South
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 07:44:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8048149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SLWalker/pseuds/SLWalker
Summary: 1988: Early in his time in Nipawin, Mike's encounter with the deer in the muumuu.





	Half a Teal Deer

"Corporal..."

Russ's voice trailed off, as he took in the sight. He counted no less than four completely unrelated substances smeared on Mike Chase's uniform, and the man himself looked entirely unfazed by his current state. Then again, this wasn't particularly anything new. It was more the how that had him wondering exactly what he'd been saddled with when Regina sent him the hardheaded Corporal.

Or, maybe, who he pissed off higher up on the food chain.

"So, the deer--" he tried, prompting, trying to wipe the incredulous look off of his own face.

Chase shook his head, picking burrs off of his uniform shirt. "No, Staff, it started with the booze. They were really blown away. I mean, they claimed they stopped drinking in the early afternoon, and they still blew a 2.0. They were _hammered_."

"Right," Russ said, nodding slowly. Eying the streak of cake adorning Chase's shoulder.

"Of course, they decided to drive anyway."

"Of course."

"So, while they were weaving all over my roads DWI, they smacked a deer."

Russ could only continue to nod.

Chase tried, uselessly, to brush the pale green paint off of one trouser leg, and only succeeded in smearing it. It clashed with the motor oil soaking half of the other leg. Without missing a beat, he continued, "Since they were still blown out of their minds, they got this idea to dress the deer in a muumuu from the trunk and take pictures." Chase glanced up, clarifying, "It was their grandmother's, they were supposed to be taking her laundry back to her before they sidelined to get liquored up."

"All perfectly reasonable," Russ murmured, because it was anything _but_.

"I know, right? I mean, my first thought when I bag a deer is to field dress it, but these guys took that to a whole new level," Chase said, straightening and smirking. Then he went back to looking like a polite, well-spoken Mountie giving a likewise perfectly reasonable report of his last several hours on shift... except for that wicked glint in his dark eyes. "Anyway, turned out that the deer wasn't dead. So, while it was passed out in the back of the car, they managed to get back here in town, right around Railway, and it woke up."

It wasn't so much that Russ disbelieved Chase. It was that this sort of thing only ever _happened_ to Chase. He was still trying to comprehend the black bear incident involving thirty old church going ladies at a group campsite, and now this?

"Naturally, the deer wasn't too happy about the situation, so it did the only thing it could and took off. This was right around the time I was pulling up behind our wanna-be surrealist photographers, having been tipped off a block prior by a concerned citizen that something was amiss. So, I called Constable Mitchell to keep an eye on the drunks, and I took off after the deer."

Russ knew about this because he had received several calls at home from dispatch telling him about it. All of them urgent. All of them disbelieving.

All of them talking about a be-mustached, fox-quick RCMP Corporal chasing a deer in a dress through peoples' homes. Even so, he still wasn't quite sure this was actually happening, even with some of the evidence standing in front of him with a straight face and mischief-and-mayhem in his eyes, covered in various substances, and two drunks in a holding cell.

"That's about the long and short of it, Staff," Chase said, with a cheerful shrug. "Eventually, it tripped over its hemline and I was able to tackle it. Took out a cake, though, on accident," he added, nodding to his shoulder.

"And the deer?" Russ asked, somehow.

"I managed to free it from its floral print nightmare and cut it loose. It was heading for the river last I saw it, not too much the worse for wear and with a healthy dislike of current elderly fashion."

Russ rubbed a hand against his own forehead, and then promptly gave up. "I'm looking forward to your report."

"Right. I'll have it done by the time you get in tomorrow morning."

"Dismissed."

Chase nodded, turning and walking out. But then he stuck his head back in and said, "Oh, Staff. If anyone calls and happens to mention a half green deer running around, it's the same one."

Russ just collapsed in his desk chair and buried his face in both hands.


End file.
